The Hitmans Wifes Bodyguard: Review by @Kush_Hayes
The nicest thing I could say about 2017s The Hitmans Bodyguard was it made me miss Holland. Oh, and it looked like Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L Jackson enjoyed their European Holiday.
Dont get me wrong, you like Ryan Reynolds. You like Ryan Reynolds as the actor and filmmaker, entrepreneur, as well as the person he is and the person he portrays as “himself plus 11”. But the two hour Patrick Hughes directed film was just boring. The stunts would do nothing for me. And the comedy is just pedestrian enough for 18 year old college freshman who just moved out into the world for the first time. It would go on to earn nearly eight times its budget on a global scale.
It was only natural that they would make a sequel.
Photos courtesy of Lionsgate
Its hard to tell how much time has passed in between stories. This could be a week later. A month. It might even be over a year. But Reynolds character Michael Brycee has had his confidence shaken hard from the events of the last movie with Sam Jacksons Darius Kincaid to the point that he’s been unlicensed and is in therapy.
One of my problems with Reynolds characters is dispensing violence is second nature, but he also has to know political players, laws, regulations, technology and weapons and everything else we dont have time to type - but then hes too stupid to realize that his therapist has graduated him from therapy in record time after 20 minutes into his first session - might be because the therapist is immediately and justifiably terrified of this monster sitting on her couch. Throughout the film he will display the naivety of a child whose never tied his own shoelaces, but then he is still capable of all the aforementioned.
Upon his therapist recommended sabbatical, Salma Hayek, Kincaids wife Sonia, immediately pulls him into combat where its just all murder all the time. To be fair seeing Reynold trying to resolve the violence without a gun, while not a unique twist, is at least an interesting conflict for the character. It wont last, but its not supposed to, especially with what these people are up against.
What is the story Kush?
Greek Super terrorist Antonio Bandaras has freelanced the development of a computer virus that once uploaded into Europes central internet hub, it will weaponize all electrical devices plugged into the continents power supply.
Yup.
The film is a checklist of things you should expect. Cute quips. Sam Jackson dropping “motherfucker”. Guns. Explosions. 1990s pop music playing over guns and explosions with motherfuckers and cute quips. Several against types. Morgan Freeman just being mean. Salma Hayek saying the raunchy shit that I do want to hear her to say, but because its played for comic effect gives me a weird sour face.
This is more of the same. A run of the mill sequel.
The nicest thing I can say about this is, Im glad they pulled the runtime back 20 mins, the audience I did see this with seemed to have fun and it looked like the casts second paid trip to Europe was a lot of fun.
Two out of Five Blueberries
Rated R for strong bloody violence throughout, pervasive language, and some sexual content
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