The Nun: Review by Kush Hayes
The only thing interesting about The Nun is that its in a thing called The Conjuring Universe. A demonic creature we are introduced to in The Conjuring 2 earned itself a spinoff prequel thats even hinted at in a Marvel Cinematic Universe style Post Credit scene of Annabelle Creation which was the Sequel to the Spinoff/Prequel that was Annabelle who we were introduced to in James Wans original The Conjuring.
This chapter, dubbed the most terrifying chapter in the story of The Conjuring, is now the earliest chapter of our timeline. We are introduced to a couple of nuns in Romania, walking down a spooky hallway with crucifixes every 3 inches approach a mysterious door that, in latin, says something along the lines of “Gods not here” of course they unlock the door with a key with more crucifixes embedded in the iron. This is of course a horrible plan causing the death of one nun as well as the other taking her life.
As suicide is a sin within the Catholic church, the Vatican sends a priest and a soon to be nun, both with past experiences with the paranormal, off to Romania to find out what was the reason leading to the suicide. The Vatican for some reason is unaware that this church and its convent is on the land of a portal to hell. Or at least they send our heroes off without telling them this.
We meet a sidekick along the way named Frenchie who is actual French Canadian, because the producers want him to be more useless to the plot.
Our pragmatic duo is subject to horror after horror after hallucination after hallucination manifesting itself into more horror.
Quite frankly the horror is boring, the jumpscares are only loud, theres no real discovery of why the creature, Valak, has decided to take the shape of a nun whereas in The Conjuring 2 it was a shape to mock and ridicule the faith Vira Farmigas Elane Warren Character.
Speaking of Farmiga, Viras little sister, Taissa is our main heroin, Sister Irene who as of now, per IMDB trivia states that the characters are NOT related to each other. I feel confident this casting choice was not a mistake or coincidence. Taissa is not bad in her performance, however, the direction shes given within the environment is a strange mix of tone.
Demián Bichir is the male protagonist, Father Burke, and he seems pretty clueless the entire time he’s in the movie. His character is haunted by the trauma of what ever happened in his past that theyll undoubtedly make a movie about next as they seem to keep moving backwards in this narrative. He also looks a lot like Anthony LaPaglias character from Annabelle Creation.
Overall, this is not a good movie, nor is it a fun one.
This could be any Straight to Netflix horror movie that they just shoehorned in references to the actual Conjuring movies into. It might as well be a Cloverfield movie.
One out of Six Blueberries.